


Parallels

by Noodle_Mama



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: Divorce, Doctor Who RPF - Freeform, Doctor Who References, Eventual Romance, F/M, Mattex, RLF - Freeform, Sexy Times, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-01-13 15:11:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18471502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noodle_Mama/pseuds/Noodle_Mama
Summary: He'd always been in love with her, but had never found the courage to tell her. But what if she can't leave her past behind to give love a chance?





	1. Chapter 1

It was wonderful to be back in London, after spending months in New York. Alex Kingston was bringing her successful play, Admissions, to the West End, and she was thrilled. It was a good time for her to be busy professionally, since her personal life had taken another hit. Her third marriage had ended, quietly this time, and she was still nursing some wounds. Out of the three, this one had been the most amicable, and she took comfort in that. There was no big blowup, no cheating on either side, just a realization that they weren't particularly suited any longer. 

She had wanted to get together with Karen and Arthur, but Karen was preparing for the opening of the latest Avengers movie and was off on a press junket. So, she had tea with Arthur, catching up on all the latest gossip and news. "Have you seen Matt lately?" she asked, framing it as a casual question. She hadn't spoken to Matt in several years, not since he started his stint on The Crown. She missed the easy, flirty relationship they had. And despite the numerous rumors, gossip columns, and outright fictions, they had never been an item. "I haven't seen him in a few months," he answered, stirring his tea carefully. "He's a bloody movie star now, and he's been wickedly busy. I should text him. In fact, let me do it now."

He pulled out his phone, finding the familiar number and starting to type. [Guess who I'm with? Kingston is here, and we're having tea. She sends her love. AD]

"There. I sent him your love. Now, can I ask a personal question? Why haven't you and Matt kept in better touch? I thought you'd be bezzie mates forever." Man, Arthur had a way of going right to the jugular, didn't he? Alex sighed, looking at the leaves in the bottom of her cup. "I think... I think Matt outgrew me. He moved on from Who, started dating Lily, and became terribly successful. Don't get me wrong, I'm as proud of him as I could be. But I'm so much older than he is, than you and Karen are as well. Maybe he felt like he was hanging out with his mum. I don't know."

  

She broke off, another sigh escaping as she smiled at Arthur. She really did miss Matt, missed the four of them together. Before she could think too much about it, Arthur's phone buzzed, and he picked it up to read the incoming message. [Kingston is here? Oh that's right. She's got a play on. Don't tell her, but I'm going to try and get tickets. Just give her my love. MS] Funny, Arthur thought to himself, that Matt already knew about Alex's play. But he said none of this to Alex, just gave her the message about sending his love. 

  

"Well, Dad, I have rehearsals to get to, mainly blocking and costumes today. I'll be here for a few months, so we'll have to get together again really soon." With a hug and a promise, she gathered her overly large bag and left the small cafe, walking the few blocks to the theater. She was smiling. Seeing her "parents" or her "husband" always made her smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt makes plans to rekindle his relationship with Alex.

Matt Smith was in London, putting the finishing touches on his movie, Official Secrets. It had already premiered at Sundance, but there were a few minute changes the director wanted to make after that screening. Oddly enough, one of his co-stars happened to be Alex's first ex-husband. It was something of a miracle that Matt hadn't punched him senseless while they were working. But Matt was a gentleman and a professional, and it would have mortified Alex to no end. So, he'd sucked it up and behaved whilst on set. It was something of a surprise to him to find he was still protective of her, even though they'd rarely spoken in the past four years. 

But, if he were honest with himself (and he always tried to be honest in the deepest corners of his mind), he still thought of her often. And here was another bit of honesty. It was part of the reason he and Lily had broken up six months prior. No one knew it though, as they'd managed to keep it out of the press. They'd had a long talk about their obligations coming up, and had decided for the good of their careers to let people think they were still together. At least until the summer movie season was over. They were able to manage that rare feat - stay friends after a break-up. That was the other reason they'd split. They realized they were better friends than lovers. 

And yet another truth: Matt had always been in love with Alex Kingston, since the first day she flew through the door of the TARDIS and kneed him in the knackers. But she had been going through a breakup, and he was basically a kid them. She wouldn't have given him a second glance. Arthur knew, though. He'd always been able to read him like a cheap novel. So, he'd held onto his heart, kept it safe for the right time. Maybe now was the time. He was older and wiser, no longer an overgrown teenager, and she was still as beautiful as she'd ever been. 

The run of her play happened to coincide with her birthday, so he pulled a few strings to get tickets for himself and Arthur. They would surprise her backstage afterwards with flowers, then Matt would take her to a cozy little dinner, assuming she didn't have any other plans. He'd have to play that part by ear. He was ridiculously excited to see her, in spite of the time they'd been apart. So, on a beautiful night in early March, he hired a car to take himself and Arthur to the theater for the play. They were on the 3rd row, slightly off center, hopefully not too much of a distraction. He'd bribed the coat check person to hold onto the flowers for him, as he didn't want them to get smashed.

And oh... she was brilliant. Not that he'd ever doubted she would be. He had a feeling she could be a hundred, and that wit of hers would still be razor sharp. Once it was over, he worked his way back to the lobby to pick up their coats and the flowers. He'd arranged for backstage passes for the two of them, and when he saw her, he stopped in his tracks. Just her physical presence still packed a punch in his solar plexus. How had he stayed away for so long? Before he could brood about it too much, Arthur dragged him across the crowded area, and Matt held out the bouquet, a soft smile on his lips. "Hello, Kingston."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't it funny how real life can inspire an idea for fiction? I didn't know Matt was in a movie with Alex's ex (he who shall not be named) until I looked up his IMDB.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two old friends, going out for a bite to catch up. But could it be more than that?

For a moment, Alex couldn't move. She hadn't seen Matt Smith outside of a gossip rag in four years. And now, here he was on her birthday, holding out a beautiful bouquet of flowers. "Matt! What are you doing here?" She turned to Arthur, giving him a big hug. "Hello, Dad. I can't believe you managed to keep this a secret from me. Naughty, Dad." She turned back to Matt, taking the flowers from him and leaning in to kiss his cheek. He kissed both her cheeks, then to her complete surprise, he pressed a lingering kiss to her lips. "You were absolutely aces up there, Kingston. I couldn't be more proud of you. I also couldn't pass up the opportunity to wish you a happy birthday," he grinned. She was just as beautiful as he remembered, not that he ever doubted she wouldn't be. 

She turned, glad to see that no one else was demanding her attention at the moment. "Let's pop into my dressing room. It'll be a lot quieter there." She led Matt and Arthur down a short hallway, to a door with her name on it. She ushered them in, putting the bouquet on her dressing table. It was a beautiful arrangement, all her favorite flowers together. How had he remembered that? It wasn't a large room, big enough for her mirrors, a sofa and chair, and a rather old-fashioned changing screen. She plopped down on the sofa, while Arthur took the chair. That left Matt to join Alex on the sofa, which he did without hesitation. Matt decided to speak up, before he lost his nerve. "I was hoping you'd be free for a late birthday dinner, if you don't already have plans," he murmured, deliberately avoiding the look Arthur shot him. About damn time, Arthur thought to himself. Matt had been eating his heart out over Alex for years, and perhaps he'd decided to finally do something about it. 

"Oh, with the two of you?" Alex queried, smiling between the two men. Arthur held up a hand, shaking his head. "Not me, I'm afraid. I already have plans. In fact, I need to be going now," he said, a slight note of apology in his voice. He did treasure the times he got to see his Team TARDIS friends, and he hated to cut it short. "I need to catch a train to Dublin. I've an audition in the morning." Alex scrambled to her feet, giving Arthur another hug. "Thank you for coming, Dad. And call me next time you're in town." With a promise to do so, he slipped out of the room, a grin plastered on his face. He had the feeling things were about to get very interesting for his "daughter" and his best mate. 

"You still haven't answered my question, Kingston. Are you free for dinner?" Matt sat there, his legs crossed casually as he studied her. She was still in her stage makeup, yet whatever it was that made her /Alex/ still shined through. "As it happens, there is an opening in my calendar for tonight. Just give me a few minutes to shower and change. Make yourself at home." It didn't occur to her to ask him to leave and wait outside. They'd shared close quarters before on set at Who, and she had no qualms about stripping down behind her changing screen. Tucked away, unnoticed, was a door leading to her private loo. "I won't be a mo, sweetie." The old endearment slipped out, forever associated in her mind with his face. 

When she was gone, he stood and shook himself, almost not believing that he was finally going to have dinner with Alex. He'd missed her so much over the last few years, trying to find happiness with others, all while knowing his heart was firmly in her grasp. There were things he wanted to tell her, but there were also things he wasn't at liberty to say, based on a promise he'd made to Lily. He would see where the evening took them. He wandered around her dressing room, noticing a few new photos of Salome scattered about. He smiled to himself. He'd been keeping up with Alex's daughter, rekindling their friendship. He was almost certain Salome had an idea that Matt had feelings for her mother, but he also knew she wouldn't say anything unless she asked Matt first. She was a great daughter, and only wanted her mum to be happy. 

Alex didn't waste any time, showering and washing off her heavy stage makeup in record time. Wrapping her thick terry robe around her, she slipped back into her dressing room, finding Matt looking at her collection of photographs. It occurred to her that she had no idea where they were going, or if she had appropriate clothing. "Where are we going? I assume you have somewhere in mind." He turned, a picture of Team TARDIS in his hands. He'd forgotten about that picture, and it brought a smile to his face. "I booked a table in the conservatory at Clos Maggiore, just in case you were free," he grinned, and her eyebrows shot up into her hairline. Clos Maggiore was one of the most sought-after restaurants in London, as well as one of the most romantic. She'd never actually been there, although it was on her list of places to try. 

She was glad she'd asked, because she had the perfect dress to wear. Gathering her things, she went back behind the screen to dress. "It sounds lovely, and I can't wait to try it." She slipped into her underthings, then shimmied into a blue silk dress, almost the same shade as the TARDIS. It hugged her curves in all the right places, and the straps went around her neck, then criss-crossed her back to button on opposite sides. "Darling, could you help me a moment? I can't fasten these straps." She turned so that her back was to him, her long, mostly bare back, that is. He joined her behind the screen, his breath catching at the lovely curve of her back and hips. He had to take a few breaths before he could button her straps down, sure that his shaking hands would betray him otherwise. "There you go, all done, Kingston," he murmured, and if his hands lingered a moment too long, well, would she notice?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clos Maggiore is a real restaurant in London, rated as one of the most romantic. I saw some pictures, and it just screamed Alex and Matt to me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe, just maybe Matt isn't the only one affected by their reunion.

Something odd was happening to Alex. Matt had touched her loads of times, on set and off, and it had never affected her the way his fastening her straps had done. A small shiver went through her at the way his fingers brushed across her back as he moved the straps in place before buttoning them. His hands were warm, bordering on hot, and they felt heavenlly against her skin. She really hoped he hadn't felt that small betraying movement. Or if he did, that he'd be too much of a gentleman to mention it. It seemed to take ages, but he finally stepped away from her and went around the screen to the sofa. She hadn't a stitch of makeup on, so she sat down at her dressing table to do a quick job.

"I don't know why you bother with that rubbish, Kingston. You're gorgeous without it," he grinned. His fingers were still tingling from the contact with her bare back. and it had taken all his willpower to not press his lips to the back of her neck. She looked delectable in that dress, and if he wasn't mistaken, the tiniest of shivers had gone through her at his touch. Encouraging. 

"I bother with it because it makes me feel better, especially since we're going to a public place. Oh, darling, would you look in that black garment bag and get the shoes from the bottom of it?" She smirked to herself, wondering if he'd remember them. They were the shoes she had been wearing her first day on set - a pair of red stiletto heels with a bit of a platform. The Moff had gifted them to her after the 50th anniversary special, in which they'd made a cameo appearance for anyone with an eye to notice those things. She saved them for special occasions, and this definitely counted as a special occasion. 

He zipped open the bag, finding the box and pulling it out. Flicking the lid off, a bark of laughter escaped when he saw those shoes. Oh, how sexy she'd looked in them. He'd had a fantasy of seeing her in them - only them. "I can't believe you have these! However did you talk Steven out of them?" The last time he'd seen them had been on the Black Archive set during Day of the Doctor. He'd wanted to add a scene in where he noticed the shoes and paid tribute to River, but time had been a factor. "Oh, Moff gave them to me after the special was finished. He said they belonged with me," she laughed. 

She finished her makeup, then pinned her hair up in a sexy, messy updo, leaving some tendrils floating by her face. She padded over to the sofa and took a seat so she could slip on her shoes. They still fit like they were made for her, which they in fact were. "I'm ready. I hope we aren't late for our reservation, darling," she practically purred. It had been a very long time since she'd been anywhere with an attractive man, and it felt good to dress up and be seen on the arm of the most handsome man in London. He definitely was not the young puppy she remembered from their Who days. No, this was a more mature, established man, and she was terribly proud of him. 

He helped her into her coat, ever the gentleman, and offered her his arm as they left her dressing room. She was only taking a small clutch bag with her, leaving her large boho bag locked away. She'd pick it up tomorrow. The after-theater crowd had dissipated, and they were alone as they walked to the back stage door. A rather large town car was waiting for them, and Matt waved the driver away as he opened the door for Alex himself. "Your chariot, madam." He helped her in, following after and signalling they were ready. There was a bottle of champagne chilling, and with a grin he popped it open, pouring them each a glass. "Happy birthday, Alex, my lovely 'wife,' and dearest friend. May your year be full of happiness, joy, and dreams fulfilled." He clinked his glass with hers, watching as she took a sip. 

"That was a beautiful toast, Matt. Thank you, 'husband.' I've really missed you, and I'm sorry I haven't kept in touch like I should." Her voice was low, slightly regretful as if the distance had been all her fault. "Don't, darling. It was my fault as much as yours," he murmured. "Let's just not let it happen again." 

Had he really just called her darling? She didn't think he'd ever used that word to her before. Another shiver raced up her spine at the husky way his voice had sounded. What was wrong with her? Why was Matt affecting her this way? And how would she make it through dinner without making a proper fool of herself? Pull yourself together, Alex, she admonished herself. Just because it had been a long dry spell for her, that didn't give her carte blanche to make googly eyes at her former telly husband. Besides, he had a girlfriend, lest she forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this isn't moving too slow for you. I promise it is going somewhere. I just have this insane need to go into detail and paint a picture. I hope you're enjoying it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt opens himself up to Alex, sharing his true feelings. What will she say?

It wasn't a long drive to the restaurant, and they kept each other amused with the pleasantries of catching up. They talked of many things, but two things appeared, by unspoken mutual consent, to be off limits. They didn't discuss Alex's recent divorce from Jonathan, nor did they discuss Lily. Alex didn't know why she didn't ask about Lily, it would have been a perfectly natural subject. But there was a part of her, heretofore unheard from, that didn't want to know about the two of them. And Matt didn't exactly volunteer any information about her, so those questions remained unasked. 

When they arrived, the driver did get to the door first, to offer Alex a hand out, while Matt hurried around the back side to offer his arm. Murmuring a few words to the driver, he steered Alex into the foyer of the restaurant, giving his name to the elegantly dressed hostess waiting there. "Ah, Mr. Smith. Yes, we have everything prepared as you requested. If you'll follow me, please?" the hostess requested, her voice low and pleasing. They went through the regular seating area to the section known as the Conservatory. Where Alex had expected to see other diners, instead she found that all the tables had been removed, save one, right in front of the stone fireplace. The place was decorated exquisitely with fairy lights and dozens of flowers, and music was being piped in unobtrusively. "Oh, Matt... you did this for me? But how... when...?" She threw her arms around his neck, giving him a lingering kiss to the cheek, before looking into his eyes. She saw something... a warmth she hadn't expected to find. 

"You deserve it, Kingston. We haven't seen each other in far too long, but it's time we rectify that. Your birthday was just a good excuse to make things right." He picked her up and swung her around, the giggle that escaped from her lips music to his ears. She'd had a rough go of it lately, and Matt was making it his mission to bring some happiness back into her life. She deserved so much more than the hand she'd been dealt. He set her down on her feet and pulled out a chair for her, making sure she was comfortable before taking his own seat. 

She looked gorgeous here, lit by candle and firelight, the fairy lights twinkling off her gorgeous hair. Did she even know how she affected him? "I hope you don't mind, but I already chose a tasting menu for us, little nibbles of everything. But save room for dessert. I've been told it's something spectacular," he grinned, watching as her eyes darted here and there, trying to take everything in. "There's a wine with each course as well, specially paired for that course. But in the meantime, would you like to dance?" It was part of the reason he'd booked the entire room. He wanted to dance with Alex. Even if it was only on the dance floor he needed her in his arms tonight. 

"I would love to dance with you, darling," she murmured, her voice low and smoky, and just the way that drove him absolutely mad. Tonight felt... like a fantasy. A night out of time. It felt as if the regular rules didn't apply, and she could flirt and be sassy and just enjoy being with a handsome man for a while. Matt certainly had set quite a stage, and if she wondered why, she didn't say. She would enjoy this night, with a man she was finding herself attracted to, and she'd let tomorrow handle itself. 

He stood, crossing to offer a hand up, and when she was standing, he swept her in his arms and began to dance in time with the music. She hadn't remembered him being a particularly good dancer, but something must have changed over the last four years, because he was grace itself as they moved across the improvised dance floor. She was close enough that she could smell the scent of his aftershave against his neck, and he could smell the floral tinge of her perfume. His hand rested low on her back, against bare skin due to the cut of her dress. Did they fit perfectly together, as though they'd been dancing all their lives? It certainly seemed so, at least to her. 

"Oh, Alex, Alex... if you only knew how long I've wanted to dance with you like this. I've missed you so much, more than I could ever say," he murmurs, his breath warm against her ear. There were the things he wanted to say, and tonight, by God, he would say the important ones. "I've wanted you for a very long time, Alex Kingston. I could never tell you, because it wasn't the right time. I had a small window of opportunity, and I let it pass me by because I knew I was too young then. I was immature, and just making my way in the world. Perhaps this still isn't the right time, because of things I can't discuss, but I needed you to know. I have... a promise to keep to someone that I can't hurt, but in every way that matters, my heart is yours, if you want it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She's just so irresistable... who could blame Matt for just blurting it out?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt wants to give Alex one perfect night. Will she accept? And will they be able to stop at one?

Somehow, unknown to Alex, she managed to keep moving with him as they dance under the fairy lights. Her mouth hung open a bit, no sound coming from her lips. Had anyone told her several hours ago that Matt Smith would make what amounted to a declaration of love to her this night, well, she'd have laughed them out of the room. She'd never considered that he could have any sort of serious feelings for her, had never looked at him in that way. Except... except that in the deepest, most secret places inside her own heart, she /had/ thought of him that way. She'd never openly admitted it to herself, had done her best to put it behind her once her time on Who was done. They had flirted shamelessly while on set, but neither one of them had ever crossed a line into making it real. They'd moved on from each other. She'd married; he'd dated several young women, and was currently in by what accounts was a serious relationship. 

"I... I don't understand. What exactly are you saying, Matt?" There's something in her voice, something swinging between hope and disbelief. But in her eyes, oh, in her eyes it's all hope. She wants to believe that he might have feelings for her. She wants to believe that she isn't too old, too damaged, too worn out for him. She wants to believe that someone is capable of loving her, despite her history to the contrary. She wants to believe that the possibility of love hasn't passed her by. She'd been hurt so deeply, and so often, that it was difficult for her to comprehend someone like Matt looking at her and seeing a person of worth. 

"I'm saying, my darling Alexandra, that I've been in love with you since the first moment I laid eyes on you, and that love has never diminished. Indeed, in spite of time and distance, it has grown. I don't expect you to suddenly realize you've been in love with me this whole time we've been apart. In fact, I don't want you to say anything. I want this night, your birthday, to be a night out of time, one for just the two of us. Whatever does, or doesn't happen, it will remain between the two of us. Absolutely no pressure. Can you do that? Can we, for tonight, live in our own world, apart from everything else?" He wanted to give her one perfect night, something to at least try and make up for all the pain she'd endured. Her own birthday fantasy. And if it happened to fulfill all his own fantasies, so much the better. 

Alex studied his face, their bodies still moving without thought to the music. In his eyes, his expression, she saw the absolute truth of his words, that he wanted to give her something incredible, meant only for her. How could she turn that down? For one time in her life, she would do something selfish, and not think of the consequences. Something else was going on here, something with Matt, but part of her didn't want to delve too deeply into that emotional pit. He'd made a beautiful offer to her, and God help her, she was going to accept. 

With a brilliant smile, she nodded. "Yes, please. Tonight, we live in our own world, just the two of us. I am yours, and you are mine." For just a second, his expression was shocked, as if he didn't expect her to truly agree. He broke out the biggest grin she'd ever seen, then he leaned down and gave her the softest and sweetest of kisses, one full of promise and passion. 

Matt knew the path he was setting down wasn't going to be easy. It would take patience and care and compassion to try and make sure no one was hurt.. But his happiness, and the happiness of the woman in his arms was at stake. It was worth the gamble. Before he could kiss her again, there was a discreet clearing of the throat, a signal that their waiter was ready to start serving their meal. With his hand wrapped around hers, he led her back to the table, making sure she was seated. This time though, he couldn't resist pressing a small kiss to her neck before he sat down. 

The waiter sat a plate between the two of them to share, his voice perfectly modulated for the atmosphere of the Conservatory. "Our first course is pressed foie gras & quail breast terrine with fig & apricot marmalade, and toasted hazelnut bread. It is paired with a champagne rosé for your enjoyment. Please, take your time to savor the exquisite flavors, and I shall return with your next course shortly." He melted away without them noticing, as they appeared to only have eyes for each other. Alex glanced down at the plate, in awe of how lovely it was. "Here darling, let me feed you a bit." She spread a bit of the foie gras on the toasted bread, holding it up to his lips. "Hey, I'm supposed to be the one pampering you, not the other way around," he laughed, taking a bite anyway. It was delicious, practically melting on his tongue. "Here, love, you taste now." He took the remaining morsel from her and placed it against her lips. She obediently opened to take a bite. "Oh my God... this is incredible!"

Yes, you certainly are, he thought to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're getting to the heart of the matter.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt pulls out all the romantic stops in order to make Alex feel loved and cherished.

It was an incredible meal, full of beautiful food, dancing, wine, and laughter. Each time they danced, he held her closer than the previous one, and soon he was intoxicated by her - her scent, her presence, every thing that made her uniquely Alex. Feeling playful, he slid his hands into her hair, dragging the pins and other things holding her curls in place out, so it could flow around her. He had a memory of her hair from their time on Who - just after the wedding of Amy and Rory, where the Doctor had asked River if she was married. Alex looked like that now, and he couldn't help himself. With a small sigh, he pulled her close and kissed her delicately, but with no small amount of passion. One hand slid beneath her curls to her neck, while the other nestled into the small of her back. It was their first kiss as Alex and Matt, and it was so much more than he'd ever dreamed it could be. 

For her part, Alex was lost in a haze of blissful romance, her heart blossoming like a flower in the gentle rain. She'd kissed Matt before, of  course, but never just as herself. It was a revelation, that kiss. It was tender, passionate, and gradually fierce. It said so much more to her than Matt probably realized he was saying. She was holding onto him, afraid to let him go lest he disappear. Part of her still wasn't convinced this wasn't all a dream. She'd never shared with anyone - not Kazza, nor Arthur, or even her sister Nicola, the secret fantasy she'd held in her heart about Matt. She had barely acknowledged it to herself. And now it seemed to be coming true. If they never shared more than this evening, she could be content. It was more than she'd ever dared believe she deserved. 

"Will you stay with me tonight, Alex? I have a cottage rented, and I want to share it with you." He didn't tell her that he hoped she'd stay more than tonight. It was a work in progress, this courtship of Alex Kingston. He could see the stars in her eyes, and he was hopeful she would say yes. The place he was renting while in London was secluded, and quite private. It was also very romantic, perfect for two people exploring their feelings for each other for the first time. He cups her cheek, pressing another kiss to her luscious mouth before she can answer. Call it additional persuasion. 

Not that she needed persuading, but the kiss had her nodding before his lips even left hers. And just as she'd done in front of the TARDIS all those years ago, she leaned in and whispered "Yes," in that smoky, sultry way of hers, eyes twinkling in time with the fairy lights. She couldn't deny him this, any more than she could stop her own heart from beating. With a brush of his fingers down her cheek, he led her back to the table to help her into her coat. He'd settled the bill beforehand, so they didn't need to wait. He wanted to hold her hand, but he settled for placing his hand against her back as they left the restaurant. Their car was waiting, and the driver smiled to himself, already knowing their destination. He had to give it to Mr. Smith. Oncce he set his mind to something, he made it happen. Matt had already given the driver detailed instructions. The evening could have gone two ways, and he'd told the driver that he would know based on his expression, in case he forgot to actually tell him. He made sure they were settled, putting up the privacy screen before pulling smoothly away from the curb. 

When she thought about it later, she wasn't sure who moved first - him or her. All she knew was she was in his arms, and they were kissing as if they were starving for each other. How had they worked with each other for so long without this sort of passion igniting? Perhaps it just hadn't been their time back then. His hands were roaming under her coat, and hers were exploring the hard planes of his back underneath his suit. She didn't remember him having this many muscles. 

They were at the cottage before long, and even here, Matt had been prepared. He helped Alex out of the car, having given the driver off after this. There, scattered along the sidewalk, was a trail of red rose petals, leading to the door. Who knew that Matt Smith had such an incredibly romantic soul, and that he had done this for /her/?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of fluff before I wreck your feels for a short time. What, you thought it would be easy?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had grand plans to seduce her, but most best-laid plans never go as intended. It's not always a bad thing, though.

Alex looks up at Matt, wonder, surprise, and happiness alight in her eyes "How... when... what if I hadn't been able to come out tonight, darling?" she breathes, her mind racing over the thought, care, and planning that had gone into this evening. "I was hopeful that you'd be free," he murmured, eyes fixed on that beautiful face of hers. How had he ever thought he could go through his life without his Alex? He'd been stubborn, foolish, and immature, while she'd gone through another heartbreak. He should have been there for her when her marriage ended. No, he should have never let her /get/ married in the first place. "I wanted to give you the best birthday you'd ever had." She looked down at the rose petals, then back up at him. "I think I can safely say that I've never had a better birthday, darling." 

He searches his coat pocket for the keys, finding them and opening the door to the cottage, then showing her inside with a hand to her back. He helps her out of her coat, hanging it on the old-fashioned coat rack near the door, followed by his own. "If you'll go through that hallway, there's a lovely parlor. I have more champagne chilling, along with some fruit. Go on then, make yourself at home." He gives her a nudge before moving in a different direction towards the kitchen to put a tray together. Two beautiful champagne flutes, a bottle of champagne, and a plate with chocolate-covered strawberries and a bunch of white grapes go on the tray, and he takes a moment to let all this settle inside him. He was nervous as hell, but nothing was going to stop him from giving them both a perfect night. 

Alex wandered into the parlor, smiling to herself at the old-fashioned word. But when she stepped inside, she could see that it described perfectly the feel of the room. It was filled with antiques, which gave it a homey, cozy vibe. There was a loveseat just right for seating two people nestled in front of a fireplace, so she took a seat there to wait for Matt. With a sigh of relief, she slipped out of her shoes and tucked her feet under her. She should be nervous, but oddly, she wasn't. Just excited and full of anticipation. This was a once in a lifetime moment, and she didn't intend wasting a second of it with nerves or fear. Tomorrow was soon enough to think about the consequences of her actions. But tonight was her birthday, and she would enjoy it to the fullest. 

She was considering lighting the fireplace when Matt came in with his tray, placing it on the low table to the side of the small sofa. "I'm glad you chose that spot for sitting, Kingston. I was hoping we would be able to have a bit of a cuddle, like we did in the old days." So many nights, they'd gathered in one of their Cardiff flats; Matt, Alex, Karen, and Arthur, watching movies or eating takeaway or just laughing and talking. Inevitably, she'd end up curled up with Matt, while Arthur sprawled in Karen's lap. Oh, the hangovers they'd nursed back then. They'd often fallen asleep in each other's arms, but they'd never crossed a line. 

Matt turned to light the fireplace, his thoughts tucked safely away for the moment. She watches him, a look of hunger on her face, if she'd only known it. He turned back before she could school her expression, and his own heart began to pound a bit in his chest. The way she looked at him - as if he could slay all her dragons and keep her safe from harm. It was a heady sensation, being the object of Alex Kingston's attention. He took his seat beside her, his thigh brushing against his as he settled in. "I should feel guilty that you went to such an incredible amount of trouble, darling," she murmured, "but I'm finding myself unable to conjure up that particular emotion. Thank you, in case I forget to say it, for giving me an unbelievable night." He reached out a hand, tucking an errant curl behind her ear before brushing his lips over her temple. "You deserve it, Kingston. You deserve having a bit of a fuss made over you." Cracking open the champagne with a loud 'pop,' he poured them each a glass, handing hers to her before raising his own. "To my Kingston. More beautiful than the day I met you, the sexiest woman I've ever known." He clinked his glass with hers, sipping as he watched her drink from her own glass. Her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink at his words, and she nudged him with her shoulder. "I don't know about that rubbish, but I'm happy you think I'm beautiful." There was something about the look on his face - something that made her feel sexy and beautiful and young all of a sudden. Had anyone ever looked at her the way Matt Smith was looking at her now?

"Here, Kingston. Try one of these strawberries. I dipped them myself, you know." He laughed, clearly having her on a bit. "Not really, but I did pick them out personally. Only the best for my birthday girl." He picked one up and held it to her lips, watching as she took a bite, her tongue peeking out to lap up a bit of the juice from her lips. He held it up to his own lips then, biting from where she had, almost imagining he could feel the warmth of her mouth against his. Unable to restrain himself, he leans in and takes her lips in a gentle kiss, the flavor of strawberry and chocolate and that uniquely /Alex/ taste rolling across his tongue as he deepens the kiss slowly and carefully. God, she packed a sensual punch, right to his heart, and vacation regions further south, truth be told. He had planned on taking his time, seducing her slowly and sweetly. But plans be damned, he thought to himself. He'd waited long enough for her, and he needed her in his bed. 

He broke the kiss off, standing and reaching out a hand to her. "Come upstairs with me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case I forget to update the tags, the next chapter is probably going to be pretty smutty. You have been warned.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt's dreams finally come true with the woman he's loved for years. 
> 
> All the smut...

Alex doesn't respond with words. She simply rises to her feet and takes his hand, pressing a kiss to the warmth of his palm before lacing her fingers with his. Part of him wants to rip her clothes off and press her against the wall, all heat and eagerness. But he's waited such a long time for this, and he wants it to be beautiful for her. So, he curbs his baser instincts and leads her down a short hallway to a gorgeous wooden staircase. It's wide enough that they can climb it together, and as they do, he brings her hand to his lips so he can brush a kiss across her knuckles. Words don't seem necessary right now, and he's quiet as he opens the door to the master bedroom. It's an elegant room, decorated in shades of navy and grey, with hints of silver accents. He'd been tempted to scatter rose petals on the bed as well, but that seemed a bit like overkill. He'd left the bedside lamp on, since he was still unfamiliar with the room's layout, and he didn't want Alex to bang into anything. 

His breath caught as he looked at her, all but glowing in the lamp light. She had the most beautiful skin he'd ever seen, and her eyes were deep green against the golden gleam of her face. "How is it possible that you're so beautiful?" he whispered, a single finger reaching up to brush her bottom lip. She stood there, not answering (honestly, he didn't require an answer to his question), unsure of what to do, but content to let him take the lead. Without her shoes, she felt small and petite next to him. "Let me undress you. I've imagined this so many times, I want to savor each moment." He stepped behind her, unbuttoning the straps he'd so carefully fastened several hours before. Yes, his hands were definitely trembling, but no, he didn't mind if she knew. He skimmed the dress down her hips, carefully helping her step out of it before laying it neatly over a chair. He just stared for a few moments, his mouth watering at the sight before him. She was clad in French lace, the same shade as her dress. A lacy strapless bra, French knickers, and garters holding up charcoal stockings. He brushed his fingers down her spine, watching the shiver that slid through her at his touch. That tiny shiver gave him such hope - hope that she was just as affected by him as he was by her. He stepped in front of her, taking in every inch of skin he could see, and imagining the bits he couldn't. He felt more confident now, and his fingers didn't tremble as he unclipped her bra and dropped it to the floor. Her nipples were already pebbling, whether from desire or chill, he didn't know, nor did he care to speculate. Bending down to her, he took one in his mouth, rolling his tongue over and around it until it was almost painfully hard. The tiniest of moans slipped through her lips, and her eyes closed at the pleasure that simple action brought. "God, Matt..." she managed to choke out, her voice all smoke and sultry sex. 

He knelt before her, concentrating on the mysteries of her garters and stockings. Once he figured out how to unfasten them, he pressed a kiss to her abdomen as he rid her of the sexy bits of nothing. She was becoming decidedly wobbly and she had to hold onto his shoulder to steady herself. He dropped kiss after kiss on her belly and sternum, even grazing her thighs a few times, as he slowly dragged her knickers down her legs. He brushed his mouth briefly against her soft curls, before climbing to his feet to shed his own clothing. He was much less careful there, having his beautiful suit and dress shirt on the floor in seconds. There was no way to mistake his desire for her, it was right there for her to see. 

With a twinkle in his eyes, and a wicked grin on his face, he picked her up and laid her gently on the bed. He crawled up next to her, stretching out against her. "I feel like I'm in a dream, my own personal fantasy. And God, I hope I never wake up from it," he murmured, a hand skimming up her thigh. Perhaps, she thought to herself, it was time for him to know he wasn't all alone in his desire. "I have a confession, darling," she started, a hand coming up to explore his chest and stomach, curving over his hip as she spoke. "I've had my own share of fantasies about you. I was always too afraid to act on them, fearing you'd think me too old or inappropriate." It was difficult, exposing her innermost secrets to him, but they were about to become lovers, and she wanted to be honest with him. For a moment, he couldn't comprehend what she was saying, but when the words finally made sense in his brain, he leaned down and kissed her. This was different than their earlier kisses, though. It was rough and needy and just /more/. He slid a hand under her thigh and brought her leg up to his waist, where it curved around as if it had always been there. With a groan, he parted her lips with his tongue and twirled it around hers, exploring the warmth and taste of her. His hands were busy as well, mapping each luxurious inch of her body, fingers discovering the little places that made her sigh, and the ones that made her moan out his name. Nor was she just a passive participant. Her own hands were making their own maps of his body, heat practically sizzling from her fingertips as she touched him. His leg slid between hers to press against the molten core of her, ridiculously pleased when he discovered how incredibly ready for him she already was. 

He had wanted this to go on and on, but he was afraid he was going to embarrass himself if he didn't have her soon. "Are you ready for me, love? Because I'll tell you the truth... I'm going to die if I'm not inside you very soon." His words, and his actions, were a balm to the bruises her ego had sustained, and she nodded, a whimper escaping when she felt his fingers part her heat, nudging himself against her. "I'll beg if you need me to. Please, Matt... make me yours." That was all he needed to hear. Well, almost all. With a small groan, he asked her in a breathy voice, "Do you want me to use a condom? I'm clean, and I would be willing to bet you are as well." He knew she couldn't get pregnant, but he didn't want to bring up that delicate subject. She whimpers again, aching over even the smallest delay. "I'm clean, too. I need you... please, darling. Don't make me wait." He leaned down and pressed his lips to her neck, moaning against her hot skin as he slid into her welcoming heat. He paused for a moment, allowing her to adjust to him, as well as allowing his brain to catch up to his body. It was... more than he'd hoped it would be, finally making love to Alex. More intense, more emotional, more beautiful... just /more/. Before he even knows it's going to happen, a tear falls from down his face to splash against her cheek. He's almost overwhelmed by the tenderness and protectiveness and possessiveness he feels. She is his now, just as he is hers. 

Alex didn't know who was more surprised by his tear, Matt or herself. With a shaking hand, she reached up to brush away the moisture from his skin. "Matt? What is it, love?" He brushes his lips over hers, smiling against her mouth. "It's... do you remember the scene with Vincent in the museum, when he hears the docent talk about hm being the greatest artist? I feel like that now... so incredibly happy that the only way to express it is through tears. I've wanted and needed this for so long, Kingston. And now you're mine." He couldn't help the possessive tone that invaded his voice, and he started to move then, slow and steady strokes. He wanted to drive her mad now, wanted to show her how much he loved her body. Alex wrapped both legs around him, angling her hips so that he buried himself fully. It had been so long for her, she wasn't certain she could last long. Already, the coil of desire was building to an unbearable ache. And he wasn't the only one overwhelmed by emotion. It had been ages since anyone cherished her, put her needs first. She bit down on her lower lip to keep a sharp cry inside, although why she felt the need to, she didn't know. Perhaps she was afraid that her own tears would fall, and once they started, they might not stop. 

They found a rhythm, perfectly in sync with each other as he gathered her close. He was dancing on the edge of the precipice of pleasure himself, but he was determined to make her let go first. Resting on his forearms, he brought his head down so he could take her nipple between his lips, tonguing at the tender bud until it was diamond hard. He began to snap his hips a bit faster, a tiny note of desperation in his movements now. She dragged her nails down his back, and a soft hiss escaped him at the slight burning sensation. That little noise, that sound of pleasure/pain broke her, and without warning she tumbled over into an intense climax, her muscles tightening all around him, as if begging him to join her. He buried his face against her neck as his movements became fast and uncontrolled, a cry burning into her skin as he flew with her. He bit the delicate area between neck and shoulder, not hard enough to draw blood, but enough to mark her porcelain skin. He shuddered as he navigated them through the minefield of pleasure, collapsing against her when he was spent. Staying as close as possible, he gathered her in his arms and rolled to his side, pressing soft kisses to her face, throat, and neck. "Jesus, Kingston. You should be illegal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those of you who are reading this, and who are leaving lovely little comments. Warning: angst ahead.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes a dream is just a dream, but sometimes it shines the light on the truth.

"You're rather lethal yourself, Matthew," she grinned, running her fingers through his (much shorter) hair. She missed his floppy fringe, but this style suited him. It brought out those devastating cheekbones of his, ones that she'd kill for. "I still can't believe that tonight actually happened. Are you quite certain I'm not dreaming?" Her voice is that teasing, flirty one he remembered, and he gave her bum a pinch, just so she'd know it was real. "Oh, it was definitely real, Kingston. As real as it gets." He pressed a soft kiss to her nose, one hand resting on her gorgeous bum while the other played with her untamed curls. There were things he wanted, no, _needed_  to say to her, and now wasn't really the best time. But he couldn't hold the words in any longer. 

"We should probably talk about some things love, but I want to tell you first of all - I love you. This isn't something coming out of the blue, nor am I unsure of my feelings. I have been fathoms deep in love with you since day one, and it hasn't diminished. But I made a promise to Lily," and oh, how she cringed when the woman's name was brought up, "and I can't break that promise to her without her consent. So, I'm going to ask you to trust me, to have a little bit of patience with me, and I swear to you that everything is going to be alright. I want to give you the world, my love. I know you've been disappointed in the past, and I want to be the one who changes things for you. I said I wanted to give you a perfect night, but it's more than that. I want to give you a perfect _life_."  He falls silent, watching as various expressions chase themselves over her face. She's managed to remain calm, smiling even at the mention of Lily's name. She pondered his words, wondering if she was letting herself in for more heartache. But he'd already given her more love in one evening than she'd had in years. "Of course I trust you, Matt. You know I'm not the most patient person in the world, but for you, I think I can be. I never dreamed that you could have feelings for me. I'm so much older, and you've been with some of the most beautiful young women in the world. How do I compete with that?" He's already shaking his head before she finishes her thought. "There is no competition, darling. You're the sexiest, kindest, most loving woman I've ever known. You're a good mum, a brilliant actress, a fabulous friend. You are, in short, the total fucking package. And any man who couldn't see your worth was a blind idiot in my book." 

He draws her in, rolling to his back so he can cradle her against his chest. "Stay with me tonight, Alexandra. Stay, and I'll make us breakfast in the morning, then I'll take you to your hotel. I know you have a performance tomorrow night, and you'll want some time to yourself like you always do."  She threw her leg over his hip, curling into him tightly, her hair tickling his chin. "Of course I'll stay, silly. Maybe we'll even have a pre-breakfast romp. We'll see." She can't stifle a yawn, and it has the effect of making him yawn as well. He was a bit jet-lagged after all. "Sweet dreams, love." 

It isn't long before she's drifted off, warm and content in his arms. She'd been thoroughly loved, and her body was relaxed. In this instance, it overruled her mind, which wanted to chew over the problem of Lily for a bit. But the body won, and soon she was deeply asleep. 

_She found herself in a room, and something about it was familiar to her. It took a few moments to realize it was her old flat from her RADA days. The one she'd shared with Ralph. Part of her realized and understood that this was a dream, but it felt disturbingly real to her. She looked around, and wasn't surprised to find Ralph sitting on their ratty old sofa. It wasn't the Ralph of today, but the one he'd been when he'd left her for Francesca. "Well, well, look at you Alexandra. All grown up now. Isn't this quite the turn of events?" She scowled, turning away from him and willing herself to wake up, but she remained in the grip of the dream. "Shut up, Ralph. Why are you here?" He laughed, a cruel sound. "It's your dream, sweetheart. I'm just along for the ride. I suppose if I were a shrink, I'd say that I'm acting as your conscience. Miss high and mighty Alex, so judgmental of me when I fell in love with Frannie. Everyone felt so sorry for you, dumped for an older woman. And here you are, doing the same thing to poor little Lily. She reminds me a lot of you, you know. Do you think that's why he's with her? Because he couldn't have you?  Oh wait... he did have you, didn't he? How do you think she's going to feel when she finds out he threw her over for someone old enough to be her mother? The shoe certainly feels tighter on the other foot, doesn't it, sweetheart?" Alex stood there, speechless, each word falling from Ralph's lips like a dagger to her chest. Because he was right. She was no better than he, falling in love with someone else's boyfriend. To be fair, even in a dream, she'd loved Matt for longer than Lily had known him, but it didn't make it any more right. She turned back to Ralph, but he was gone. In his place was Lily, her face pale and full of accusation. "You know what this feels like. How could you willingly put me through it?"_

She awoke with a gasp, fearful that she'd somehow wake Matt up. She was on the verge of tears, but she wouldn't allow them to fall. Fortunately, Matt was a heavy sleeper, and she was able to get out of the bed without him stirring. Gathering her things, she crept downstairs to dress and call for an Uber. She was in a car in under ten minutes. She couldn't leave him without a word, though, so she opened up her phone to compose an email. 

_Dearest Matt,_

_I'm sorry for leaving you like a thief in the night, but I'm not as courageous as I should be. Tonight was the most beautiful night I've ever had, and I love you for it. No, I love you, full stop. I was too cowardly to say the words before, but I do love you. And because I love you, I can't start our lives together by hurting someone else - someone who has done nothing wrong. I've been in Lily's shoes, and while the situation is different, the end result wouldn't be. Forgive me, my love, for not seeing it sooner. I will cherish this memory and hold it close to me every single day. Be happy, my darling._

_Love always,  
Alex_

She sent the email, just as the car pulled up to her hotel. Stopping by the front desk, she asked to not be disturbed at all, and to not give out any information about her if asked. She managed to make it into the lift, and to her room before the tears started. Fortunately, there was no one about to see her dash away the tears from her cheeks as she finally crept into her room. Shutting and deadbolting the door behind her, she slid to the floor, tears flowing freely now. What had she done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oi, these two are killing me to write. But I hope it's worth it to those of you reading it. There may be some more angst ahead, but like Matt, I'm going to ask you to trust me. 
> 
> And thank you all for the encouraging comments you've left me. It means so much.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt isn't going to give up, not when everything he's ever wanted is so close to his reach.

Matt's first thought when he woke the next morning was that he hadn't felt this happy in ages. He'd finally told the woman he loved how he felt, and they'd made love for the first time. His body was pleasantly achy, and he couldn't stop smiling. He turned his head, expecting to see Alex asleep next to him, but the bed was empty, the sheets cool to his touch. The door to the loo was closed, but he couldn't hear the shower running. Perhaps she'd decided on a bath instead. He climbed out of bed, unconcerned with his nudity, and called out as he opened the door. "Kingston, the least you could have done was asked me to join you in the bath." His voice trailed off as he found the room empty. No Alex. 

She must have gone downstairs to make tea. That woman was so British sometimes, it was painful. A cup of tea for every occasion. He stopped to pull on his trousers, not bothering with his shorts. He wouldn't be in them long anyway, if he had his way. He bounded down the stairs, finding his way to the kitchen. He couldn't hear anything, so he called out her name. "Alex? Where are you, love? Bit old for hide and seek, aren't we?" She definitely wasn't in the kitchen. 

A niggling feeling of dread began to creep in, and he ran back upstairs to find his phone. Had there been an emergency and she hadn't wanted to wake him? He looked around the bedroom, and he finally noticed that her clothes were gone, along with her small handbag. He heard a small 'ping' as his phone signalled that his email inbox had refreshed, and that he had new messages. Grabbing the instrument, he scrolled through the menu until he got to his email app, and clicked it open. There, in his inbox, was a message from Alex. His heart sank as he read the words she'd written in the middle of the night. Part of him was elated - she'd admitted she loved him. But the bigger part of him was scared that he'd lost the best thing that had ever happened to him. 

Somehow, he was going to convince her that they were right for each other. He wasn't sure how he was going to accomplish that Herculean task yet, but he needed to see her. He needed to make certain she was alright. But he wasn't about to run off half-cocked. He'd brought a small bag with him when he'd set the place up, so he took a quick shower and tidied up a bit, thankful that the place had its own maid service. He left the key on the foyer table per his booking instructions, and locked up as he left. 

He managed the trip back into London without killing himself, or anyone else, in spite of the fact that he'd wanted to break all the land speed records to get there. He drove straight to Alex's hotel, asking for her at the front desk. The concierge, a tiny shred of regret showing on her face, informed him of Ms. Kingston's desire to remain undisturbed, and that no visitors were to be shown up. No amount of persuasion or bribery would get the girl to ring Alex's room. Frustrated, he thanked her for her time and shuffled out the front door. 

He was on his way back to his car, when a memory of being in this hotel before surfaced. It had been the last time Team TARDIS had all been together, coming (ironically) to see Arthur in a play. They'd not been long off of Who, and they still had fans show up wherever they went. Karen had been staying here, and they were having a bit of a private after-party in her suite. She'd shown them a back entrance into the hotel, one that didn't require a card key to enter. It went straight through the kitchen, and the staff were used to celebrities using the "back door" to avoid mobs of fans. 

With a determined look, he made his way carefully to that back entrance, giving a bit of a wave to the kitchen staff. No one bothered to stop him, and he was left alone to find the elevators. Fortunately, he was out of range of the front desk, so he was able to slip in unseen. Alex was a creature of habit, always requesting the same room at this hotel when she stayed for long periods. He punched the button to her floor, pacing nervously in the small space. He still had no idea what he was going to say to her. 

He strode from the elevator, stopping at her door. He ignored the Do Not Disturb sign as he rapped on the door three times. When no answer came, he knocked harder. "Don't you see the Do Not Disturb sign, for God's sake?" she called out, sounding clearly agitated. "Kingston, if you don't open this god damned door right now, I will cause a scene that will put us on the front page of every tabloid on the continent." After a long moment, he finally heard the sliding of the deadbolt and the door opened a few inches. Her voice was weary, defeated.

"What do you want, Matthew?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to post something new. My muse took a tiny vacation, but I do believe it's back now. Thank you for all the encouragement and feedback you've given me as well! It is appreciated.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will they both be brave enough to take a chance on what they really want? Or will old fears and insecurities be too powerful to overcome?

Matt was trying desperately hard to hold onto his temper, but he was afraid he was going to lose that particular battle. In spite of his earlier declaration, he really didn't want to make a scene in the hallway of her hotel, so he kept silent while he pushed his way past her and closed the door behind himself. He locked the door, a habit from many nights spent in unfamiliar hotel rooms. "Can we sit, please, and talk like civilized human beings?" His voice was tight, only a hint of bitterness in his tone. More than anything, he wanted to know why she'd felt the need to sneak out after what had been the most profoundly beautiful experience of his life. Her message had been brief, and he wanted more details from her. 

With a soft sigh, she led them to the small sitting area, switching on the electric kettle to heat up before she sat. She elected to sit in the solitary wing chair, leaving the small sofa for Matt. She looked down at her hands, unable to meet his eyes. He sat, leaning forward so that his elbows rested on his knees as he studied her face. It was obvious she was miserable. Well, that made two of them. He took a breath, letting it out slowly before speaking. "Why, Alex? Why did you leave? I thought you said you could be patient with me, just for a little while. Did you change your mind?" Alex began to gnaw on her lower lip, and it was obvious by its redness that this wasn't the first time today she'd abused it. How could she explain it to him, the feelings that went through her when she'd awakened from that dream? "Before I answer that, you met Ralph on the set of your latest movie, didn't you? What did you think of him?" He sat up, clearly not expecting that sort of question. He wasn't certain what it had to do with their situation. But he would answer it honestly. "He's a brilliant actor, and talent oozes out of him. But he's a prick when it comes to dealing with people. If I'm honest, there were a few times I wanted to shove his teeth down his throat. Mainly, I avoided him when I could, and I refused to be drawn into any conversation where you might be mentioned. What does that have to do with anything?" Alex couldn't help smiling when he mentioned shoving Ralph's teeth down his throat. The kettle chose that moment to signal that the water was ready, so she stood to fix a pot of tea. She put everything on a tray, letting the tea steep while she gathered milk, lemon, and sugar. When she could no longer use it as an excuse to avoid Matt's questions, she brought the tray to the table between them and set everything down. 

"Ralph left me, as you well know, for an older woman. One he'd worked with. The entire world knows my difficulties in holding onto a relationship." She hesitated, picking up the pot and pouring them each a cup of tea, adding a touch of milk and a single sugar to it. "I had a dream. I was in my old RADA flat, and Ralph was there. He pointed out how ironic it was that you were leaving Lily for an older woman, and I realized that we were doing to Lily exactly what Ralph and Francesca did to me. I can't put her through that, darling. She doesn't deserve it." Her voice had grown low and was shaking by the time she finished speaking, and it took all her will power not to burst into tears. Because she wanted this. She wanted Matt, and the life he said he wanted to give her more than anything. But she wouldn't step on anyone else to get it. 

Matt sat there, completely flabbergasted. What an idiot he'd been to not see the parallels she had seen. It simply hadn't occurred to him that Alex would make that connection, seeing as he hadn't himself. He made a decision then, one he hoped he wouldn't regret later. He was going to let her in on a secret or two. "Did you ever wonder what drew me to Lily?" Now it was her turn to look a bit puzzled, and she shook her head. "She's a lovely girl, Matt, and she has an amazing future ahead of her. She's talented, and beautiful, and she has charisma." It almost pained her to say those things, but she couldn't be dishonest with him. He chuckled, reaching for his own cup of tea. "You're right. She has talent and charm and beauty. She also reminds me of you, Kingston. You had just gotten engaged, and I met Lily on the set of Pride & Prejudice & Zombies. She had her hair in a riot of curls, and she looked so much like you. It was more than the curls, though. She has a carefree style, almost bordering on bohemian, and it's so much like yours, that sometimes I'm surprised that it's her I'm seeing and not you. I'm not particularly proud of that, but it is what it is." 

Alex stared, finally meeting his eyes as he spoke. She couldn't take it all in. She didn't know whether to be flattered or insulted. She decided to set that aside for the moment. "It still doesn't change the fact that she doesn't deserve to be hurt like this, Matt. I want to be with you. Nothing would make me happier. But how happy could I be, knowing it came at the expense of someone else's?" Lord, how he wished she would come sit next to him. He was going to break at least a part of his promise to Lily, but he rather thought she might understand why. 

"I need to tell you something, my darling Alex. Lily and I aren't together any longer. We haven't been for quite a while, but we've managed to keep it out of the press. I can't go into the reasons. They aren't mine to tell, and I did promise her I'd let her choose how to break the news. I was always going to be something of a villain of the piece and it was a role I was willing to play for her sake. But things have changed now, and I will do everything in my power to find a way for us to be together. God, I've wanted you for so long, Alex. I know I was far too young before, and we probably wouldn't have made it had we tried it then. I was too immature, too scared to go for what I wanted. But I've grown, and I know what's important to me. I want to marry you, Alexandra Elizabeth Kingston. I want to wake up beside you and go to sleep next to you, and hold your hand in the park. I want you to wear my ring, and I want to wear yours for better or worse, I want to cherish you and love you and give you everything you deserve. Will you think about it? Don't say yes or no just yet, love. Give me a chance to make things right." He couldn't wait any longer, and he got up and knelt down next to her, taking her small hand in his own. He needed to touch her. "Trust me, my love."

She looked at the strong, masculine hand holding hers. It was almost more than she could take in. But she felt something she didn't expect. Hope. Hope was bubbling up in her chest. Could she really have everything she wanted? She knew she wanted to try, even if she had to wait for him. He'd said not to answer yes or no, so she did the next best thing. "I'll think about it. My play is over in a few weeks. I'll give you an answer then. Is that acceptable?" 

He grinned; he couldn't help himself. Neither could he help bringing her hand to his lips to kiss the back of it. "I'll be in town for the next month, doing some final clean-up and promotion for some other projects. It won't seem strange if we're seen together. We're old friends after all. Get used to seeing a lot more of me, darling." He kissed the back of her hand again. He felt hopeful, something he hadn't felt when he first knocked on the door. "I'm going now, since I know you like alone time before a performance. Just remember this - I love you. Perhaps you find it hard to believe, but I'm going to convince you that we have something worth going for. Walk me to the door?"

She stood, her hand still held tightly in his, and walked with him over to the door. She was smiling, the tension drained from her and leaving behind that niggle of hope. "I'll text you later, darling. Thank you for coming over, and thank you for everything you said. And, thank you for giving me an amazing birthday last night. I'll never forget it." She kissed his cheek, even though she was tempted by his lips. She wanted to keep things a bit casual for now. She opened the door, staying half hidden behind it as he walked through. "See you later, Professor River Song," he murmured, in case nosy ears were listening. "Until next time, Doctor." She was still smiling when the door finally closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally... he told her at least a part of what she needed to hear. They still have a few hurdles to overcome, though. It may be time for a Pond Family reunion soon. Who knows...


End file.
